Lori unpacks three key reasons to pray for your children and grandchildren out loud. She will also give tips to start this if you have never done this before and how prayers said out loud should be happening in our general discipleship of others.
Lori unpacks three key reasons to pray for your children and grandchildren out loud. She will also give tips to start this if you have never done this before and how prayers said out loud should be happening in our general discipleship of others.
Well hey friends, it’s Lori Joiner, Your Discipleship Coach! I am thrilled to be launching the third season of this Podcast!
The past two seasons have been dedicated to giving you the basics of discipling someone. I shared with you many pointers about where to find disciples, how to initiate an ongoing discipleship time with another person, what to do on a typical discipleship appointment. We also discussed what the first two years of discipleship should look like, how to find time in our busy schedules for discipleship, and many other topics.
This season, I want to turn the focus slightly and do a Kids Edition! This semester I want to share with you many of the things I have done to raise up my two most important disciples-my two sons. Our children are our primary discipleship ministry.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Learning about God, growing in God, is supposed to be primarily taught in the home. The church serves as another great community to help this endeavor, but the primary responsibility lays in the hands and hearts of parents. I would also add grandparents to that. Godly grandparents helping to pass along faith in Christ to future generations is such a bonus!
Not only do I feel compelled to share what I am doing to raise my children in the Lord, but also, I am asked often about this topic. I recall one woman and I sitting on a bench at our neighborhood playground asking me, “Lori, how do you teach your children about God?” I was surprised at this question because this was a church-going mom. But it turns out, as I would later understand, that many people are faithful in taking their kids to church to learn about God, but it is not really being discussed in the home. She wanted practical information-exactly what are you doing and when in your family life is Christ being taught.
Another friend of mine confessed to me that while her family was active in church, her children had never ever heard her pray out loud. I was in disbelief. What did she mean? She said, "I do not pray out loud ever and so also not in front of my kids." I implored her to let her children hear her pray over them and for them for many reasons-reasons we will unpack today.
But the bottom line is that there are parents, numerous parents, who need some help, encouragement, and guidance in this area. So I have made a list of all the ways I am raising up my children in the Lord at home and I would like to share those with you this season. And you will see, at the end of each podcast, how really each and every element also easily translates into what you also should be doing with the people you are discipling.
Ok, are you ready! Let’s jump in!
Today’s Kids Edition Discipleship tip is: To pray out loud over your children every day. Even perhaps twice a day.
We will look at: Why to pray out loud, what to pray out loud, and tips for getting started if this has not been your regular practice at home and even when to pray.
There are numerous reasons to pray out loud over your children or you could say with your children each day. Here are my top three reasons I do this:
1. When I pray out loud with my children I am modeling to them how to pray. Prayer is simply talking to God. When I pray they hear me simply talking to God. I do not use any fancy language when I pray, or fancy words that I would not use in regular dialogue with another person. When I pray I do not beg God for things or only ask for things. They hear me praise God for being a good God, an all-knowing God, a loving God. They hear me ask God for souls to be saved, people to be healed, for their protection.
Just as I taught them how to fold their clothes by modeling to them how we fold, just as I taught them how to put away the silverware from the dishwasher by modeling to them where each utensil goes, just as my husband modeled to them how to mow the lawn by showing them how to start the lawnmower and how to steer the lawn mower-prayer is no different.
They need to see and hear us pray to model it and apply it to their own lives. Just as they will need to mow the lawn in their life, put away dishes, and fold clothes they will need to pray to God for their lives to stay in alignment with His will for them. So why would we not model this like everything else? I am not leaving it up to my friends to show my kids how to fold clothes or mow the lawn, I will also not simply leave it to the church to teach them how to pray. It is my responsibility and by modeling it, we do our children and grandchildren a huge favor and service for their future lives.
2. The second reason we pray out loud with our children is that we are teaching them WHAT they can pray for. When I pray with my sons they hear me ask God for BIG things and little things. They have been taught that no item is too big and no item is too small to ask God for help. For example, together with my sons, we have prayed for them to do well on an upcoming test or quiz and that God would help them remember what they have learned, for their friends to trust Christ as Savior and Lord, we have prayed for sicknesses to go away.
One time, my son left his iPad at a basketball game. We had already gotten home, changed clothes, and were going to bed when he realized it. We jumped back into the car, he and I [rayed for it to be exactly where he left it, and sure enough, it was! God protected his iPad. We have prayed to feel better, we have prayed for friend drama to subside, we have prayed for teachers.
Something I see with even grown women is that they will say to me, "I am not sure I can pray for that." SO MANY PEOPLE are hung up on what they can pray for. They think, this item is too small for God to care, so I won’t bother Him with it. Or This item is so large, I am not sure God will come through so why pray. Or I am not sure if this is God’s will so I won’t pray.
I am teaching my children, through praying out loud with them, that they can pray for ANYTHING and God will sort it out. Big things like healing for people, small things like an iPad, and confusing things that we are not sure how to pray-they have heard me give things to God and trust His will. Mama’s and Dad’s please let your children HEAR your prayers-they need to know they can pray for ANYTHING.
3. The third reason I pray out loud is that I want them to know what I am praying for them. This helps form their inner Godly identity. I want to read you a sample prayer I would pray over Josh and Jake each day. I simply wrote, what I could remember, from my prayer for them this morning. Just listen to what I am praying and then we will break it down.
Dear Lord, I pray you would give Josh a great day at school today.
I pray you would give Josh a long life and the ability to lay up much treasure in heaven. I pray that he would be a man after your own heart.
I pray blessings and favor would chase him down today and all his days.
Please protect Josh from sickness, illnesses, disease, accidents, and calamity.
I pray he would be a leader, not a follower. That even if everyone else is doing something wrong Josh would have the self-control and leadership to do what is right.
I pray he would be an example of what a godly man looks like.
Thank you that you made Josh a Joiner! Thank you for putting him in our family and that I get to be his mommy!
Father, you say that your sheep hear your voice. Josh is one of your sheep-please help him learn to hear your voice clearly and walk with you daily.
I pray Josh would be a mighty man in your kingdom. I pray he would have a heart that seeks hard after you.
Father, please surround Josh with your angels today and protect him against all odds. Please guard his heart, his mind, and his body today.
Please give him the mind of Christ, the heart of Christ, and the feet of Christ. Lord would you keep Josh on the narrow road. Please bind his feet to paths of righteousness.
Lord, please bring Josh safety home to his pillow tonight. Amen.
So you can see he is hearing that I desire God to make him a leader, that he would have an eternal mindset so I am asked God to help him lay up treasure in heaven. I am praying that he would be a leader. Think about how this may play out in his life. He has heard me praying 100’s of times. Then the moment comes, at some point, for him to take a stand or actually lead and he KNOWS this is what he is supposed to do. No matter how fearful he may be He KNOWS he has a STOREHOUSE of years of prayers built up for him in this area.
I pray for him to be able to hear God's voice. So all throughout the day, Josh knows I am praying this for him. When he feels God leading him or directing him he does not need to doubt. He KNOWS this has been prayed over him 100’s of times. No matter how fearful he may be to take a scary step of faith, he will be able to do it knowing he is hearing From God almighty.
So I could keep on this on each and every item I prayed but my point here is this-I am not only prying for him, I am speaking in faith what I also want to be true of him. So that, when he is not with me when he is on his own, he can hear God’s voice and follow it, he can say to himself-I am a leader, what Would a godly leader do? And act in faith.
As a side note, if you would like a copy of that prayer, just head over to my website, LoriJoinerMinisties.org and you can download it for free. It will remind you of the things you can pray for yourself, your children, and your grandchildren.
Ok, so let’s talk about when to do this, when to pray for your kids.
I pray in the morning. When I wake my children up in the morning for school, as they are laying in their beds, I come in, sit on the side of their beds, rub their back to wake them up, and begin to speak out loud a prayer such as the one I just read to you. If they have woken up on their own, I give them a hug and as I stand there hugging them, I am praying over them out loud.
My husband and I also pray with each child at night before bedtime. My husband always thanks God for bringing them home safe to their pillows at night, that God would forgive our sins and cover us with the blood of Jesus. So they are not simply hearing my prayers for them, but also their dad’s prayers which I think is so vital and important as well, if you have a husband who is a believer in Christ, please urge him to pray out loud as well.
So I pray in the mornings (my husband is already at work by the time my children wake up that is why he is not praying in the mornings). And we both pray out loud. But of course, we would pray anytime during the day if needed.
I recall one afternoon a neighbor of mine had recently been discharged from the hospital. She was in very ill health but was released nonetheless. She was terribly discouraged, in pain, and had a long road of recovery in front of her. I decided to take my other son, Jake, over to see her (she had a kidney illness that was not contagious) and we prayed for her. I told Jake that we were going to this dear woman’s home to encourage her and pray for her. We also brought our new puppy, a miniature dachshund, with us as she loved this little puppy having had a doxie of her own for many many years.
So Jake knew he and I would pray for her. So off we went dog in tow, to our neighbors’ home. We chatted with her, she got to pet Hershey, our puppy, and then we prayed. Jake folded his little 8-year-old hands and prayed for her to be healed from her sickness. I also prayed. So, we don’t just pray together, we pray for others. And we don’t just pray at night and in the morning, no prayer is a part of our lives as a family.
My neighbor was so very touched by Jakes’s prayer. To this day, several years later, (she is healed from that disease by the way), she still recalls how encouraging it was to hear his little voice praying for her and his little hands folded in prayer.
But as a side note-How did he know to pray or what to pray for? He knew it by me modeling it to him over and over and over throughout the years. He believes God can heal people not only because he has heard me ask God to heal others but also has seen the results of his prayers.
Finally, what if you are not in the habit of doing this?
What if you were not taught this, what if praying out loud was never modeled to you or you feel nervous. Or perhaps you think your kids will think you have lost it if you all of a sudden begin to pray out loud for them. Let me share some advice here.
First, no one ever prayed over me like this either. I do recall my mom teaching me to pray the Lord’s prayer at night. That is the prayer found in Luke chapter 11 where Jesus teaches his disciples to pray. It begins with “Our Father, who is in heaven, hallowed by thy name…” and we would pray it out loud together in the evenings so I am thankful for that. But the type of prayers I pray with my kids was never modeled to me. And that does not hold me back from doing this with my children so please do not let it hold you back either.
If you have never done this, then start really really small. For example, tomorrow morning, as your child wakes up, give them a hug and say, “Lord, thank you that this kid is my kid!” And then look them in the eye and say, "I love you and I am so glad God gave you to me!"
Then the next day, as they are leaving for school give them a hug, and as you squeeze them say, “Lord please protect this one today and bring them home safe!” And then look them in the eye and say, "I wish I would have been praying over you like this each day of your life but better late than never! "
Over time, you can pray for them at night at their bedside, at a meal, for an upcoming test they are studying for. Over time, it will be natural to pray for them and they will come to understand this is how things are now.
It is NOT TOO LATE my friends. I never heard my dad pray till after he was 54 years old. He placed his faith in Christ at about 54 years of age and began to grow in his faith. He now prays for me daily (usually as we are starting a meal or as he is leaving to go back home).
I am THRILLED to hear it and to know my dad is praying for me and my family. I was a grown woman in my 30’s living on my own when he first began to pray for me. So please, even if your kids are older, even if this is not what you have been doing, you can start now.
How about this. Say to your children, “I listened to a podcast recently about how important it is to pray with your children. I know I have not done this ever, or on a regular basis. But please know I have always prayed for you in my head and in my heart. But I want you to hear what I am praying for you so I will start today to let you in on what I ask God for you each day.” And then go for it.
You can start today-even if you have never done this. Some people have never run a marathon before but then they decide to do it, they get off the cough and train for it, and cross the finish line! Some people have never snow skied before but then they make the drive to the slopes, perhaps take a class, and off they go down the greens and blues. Some people have never painted a house before but they watch a few youtube tutorials and wala-new coat of paint. Some people have never prayed out loud over their children or grandchildren before but guess what- you can start today like you would start ANY new activity or habit.
Each year I like to choose a verse of scripture to pray over my child as the school year starts. This year, I chose-
Luke 2:40-"There the child grew up healthy and strong. He was filled with wisdom, and God’s favor was on him."
This was actually talking of Jesus as a young boy, but I wrote that verse down on an index card and prayed out loud over Josh and Jake. Why don’t you do that as well? Take this verse, or any verse you find as you read scripture and say, “I found this verse in scripture this morning as I was reading and it so emulates what I want to be true in your life. Please pray with me as I pray this for you-then all of you can bow your heads and you can say this verse along with anything else you may want to add.
Making the Connection.
You may recall I mentioned that even though we are doing Your Discipleship Coach Kids Edition this semester that each and every topic can also completely correlate with the people you may be discipling. I pray out loud with my disciples each time we meet. Why? Well, I want them to hear me pray, I want to model to them that they can ask God for anything -big or small. I want them to know what they can pray for and I want to help form their faith as they grow in Christ. I am discipling them to be more like Christ and we see Christ praying for things all through scripture-he modeled prayer to his disciples so we also should model pray to ours!
Don’t forget to head over to my website, LoriJoinerMinistries.org to download the copy of this sample prayer and if you liked this podcast, please share it with others you know and give it a 5-star review! If you have other topics you would like me to address, or have any questions on this topic, please send them my way on my website. Just go to the contact Lori tab on my site! Have a blessed week!
Let’s pray!